


Done Alright Up Until Now

by mccolfer



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Gen, M/M, i love a douchey white boy, very much a garrett/bram friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 15:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccolfer/pseuds/mccolfer
Summary: “We’re gonna be late, man.” He said tentatively.“I don’t care!” Garrett insisted, gripping Bram harder.Bram laughed, “Oh my god, let me go, you dork.”He went lax in his friend’s arm, no longer returning the hug. “Are you trying to tell me something?” He teased.“I don’t know, maybe.” Garrett replied, almost so quietly Bram might not have heard it if he hadn’t been literally pressed against Garrett’s body. Finally, he was released from the hug and he was faced with his friend looking down at his shoes.“Garrett…”





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be a 5 and 1 fic about Simon and Bram getting into fights about Tumblr and fandoms because that’s an aspect I loved about Simon in the book, but it just wasn’t being written. Then I was like, well I have to write about Simon and Bram being Seamus and Dean for Halloween bc I’m tired of people letting Simon get away with Drarry. Then all of the sudden, Garrett took hold of the story and turned it into a Garrett realizes he’s pansexual fic. There’s kind of a lot of weird sexuality info dumps but I tried to keep it in character as best as I could.
> 
> This takes place in like early October a year after they started emailing. So kind of in the bookverse in the sense of they met their junior year and Simon wears glasses and is fandom trash, but movieverse in a lot of other ways because I’ve seen it 8 times and it’s constantly on my mind. Also! Book Bram! My shy nerd son! No shade at Keiynan, who is also my son. More shade at the writers who made Bram lowkey a different character entirely. But anyway! Here’s the fic! It’s like okay! Stay tuned for the end notes for some headcanons from the scrapped fic.
> 
> Also the title is from [I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH3giaIzONA) because that's the best song in the movie and I love Zach Woodlee.

“Oh! Bram!” Simon spouted out of nowhere, effectively cutting off what Nick was saying about Tom Felton’s character on The Flash. Nick looked positively affronted, but Simon seemed to take no notice, completely turned to focus solely on his boyfriend. “I was thinking, for Halloween we _have_ to be Draco and Harry!”

Simon face fell as Bram didn’t immediately smile at the idea, in fact he seemed to be closer to making the butthole mouth/eyebrows raised expression that Simon dreaded.

“What?!” He asked, looking around at their other friends to see if they knew why Bram would be making that face. They all avoided eye contact, not wanting to be involved in this impending lovers quarrel.

“Simon...” Bram said placatingly, placing his hand over the other boy’s. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you this for a while but... I don’t think Drarry is a good ship.”

Simon practically ripped his hands out of Bram’s grasp. “How could you?!” He exclaimed dramatically, looking to Leah for support.

Leah shrugged, “Are any Harry Potter ships _really_ good?” She gestured with a french fry while she spoke, “We take what we can get.”

“I always thought Harry and Hermione would be good together.” Garrett threw in.

“Oh my god...” Simon said, putting his head in his hands.

Bram sneered at him, “Shut up, Garret. I know you’ve only seen the movies.”

“Just, don’t.” Abby advised, placing her hand comfortingly on Garrett’s shoulder. “You don’t want to be involved in this.” She’d just barely managed to survive the last time she expressed an uneducated opinion about Harry Potter.

“Well, I can tell you who we’re _not_ gonna be.” Simon said, turning to Bram again. “If we can’t be my OTP, we’re _not_ going to be Remus and Sirius.”

“Sorry I ship healthy relationships and not ones founded upon hate and bullying.” Bram replied, taking a sip of his water to punctuate his elegant drag. Garrett and Nick let out a few “Ooh!”s to help drive the message home.

Simon glared at Nick, Garrett he’d expect, but how could his own best friend not take his side? Nick just shrugged. Though, Simon had just rudely interrupted him just minutes earlier, so he supposed he deserved the betrayal.

“Oh! You know who you guys should be?” Leah said, the excitement palpable in her voice. “Dean and Seamus! They were totally gay for each other!”

“Didn’t Dean date Ginny?” Bram asked.

Leah rolled her eyes, “Yeah but obviously they both only did it to make Seamus and Harry jealous, duh.” Leah explained, “They we’re just friends doing each other a favor.”

Bram hummed thoughtfully, for once one of Leah’s headcanons didn’t sound completely ridiculous and forced.

“It helps that I wouldn’t have to dress up as a white dude.” He joked.

“Oh? I thought I was gonna be Dean.” Simon teased back, bumping his shoulder into Bram’s.

They grinned fondly at each other, tuning out the rest of the cafeteria and getting lost in the simple feel of their shoulders touching. A small moment of intimate privacy, even though they were surrounded by about a hundred of their classmates.

Bram lived for these moments with his boyfriend. They remind him that he will never have any regrets about being who he is. No matter how many homophobic assholes there are in the world who think he shouldn’t like boys. No matter how many racist assholes there are in the world who think he shouldn’t be dating a white person. No matter how many times he and Simon get in fights over trivial things. And no matter how many times his friends tease him for staring lovingly at Simon for too long.

“Guys, the bell rang, we have to go.” Garrett yelled, waving a hand between their faces. “Honestly, I don’t know how you two always manage to block out everything in the world but each other.”

Bram just wrapped his arm around Simon’s shoulders in response, preening when the other boy pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “You’re just jealous.”

“I mean, yeah.” Garrett said, laughing as he rolled his eyes. “Come on, detach, or we’ll be late for history. You two can fuse into one being _after_ school.”

Bram almost died at the sight of Simon pouting when he pulled his arms away. He glanced around the now almost empty cafeteria and bravely pressed his lips to Simon’s pout.

“Oh my god, I’m leaving.” Garrett said, exasperated. But he didn’t move from where he was standing.

“I’ll meet you at your car after school?” Bram asked rhetorically, as if he hadn’t been doing that every Friday since they started dating. Simon nodded, still grinning his dopey, lovey grin that Bram cherished putting on his face.

As he walked out the cafeteria door with Garrett, he turned one last time to sneak and glance at Simon exiting the other door across the room.

“Hey.” Garrett’s voice and his hand on Bram’s shoulder made Bram’s heart jump slightly. He really _had_ gotten good at blocking out everything but Simon. “I love you, man.”

“Um, okay?” Bram replied, chuckling. He was a little taken aback by the sudden confession. It wasn’t something that Garrett normally expressed to him, being an emotionally suppressed straight dude and all.

“It just… makes me really happy to see you so happy, bro.” He continued, starting to sound a little… choked up? Bram looked around nervously, the hall was mostly deserted as the second bell was about to ring. “You’re my best friend, dude. And it’s fucking crazy that I’ve known you for so long and I’ve never seen you smile this much, but god _damn_ , it makes me so happy.” The bell rang, signaling that class was starting.

“Um,” Bram said, looking back at their history class down the hall where their teacher was closing the door.

“No, wait.” Garrett said, grabbing his friend by his shoulder and pulling him in for a hug. Though confused, Bram reciprocated, wrapping his arms firmly around Garrett’s waist. It felt… really good, honestly. He kind of felt like some kind of weight he didn’t know was on his shoulder was taken off. Which is kind of silly because he’d come out to Garrett a while ago and he’d always been fine with it. Bram supposed he didn’t need to question the catharsis of the hug, just accept it. Until it started going on for a little too long.

“We’re gonna be late, man.” He said tentatively.

“I don’t care!” Garrett insisted, gripping Bram harder.

Bram laughed, “Oh my god, let me go, you dork.”

He went lax in his friend’s arm, no longer returning the hug. “Are you trying to tell me something?” He teased.

“I don’t know, maybe.” Garrett replied, almost so quietly Bram might not have heard it if he hadn’t been literally pressed against Garrett’s body. Finally, he was released from the hug and he was faced with his friend looking down at his shoes.

“Garrett…”

“Hey! Shouldn’t you two be in class?” With near perfectly horrible timing, their vice principal approached them, ready to scold. But his face instantly softened as soon he recognized Bram. “Oh, _Bram_! Listen, our school believes in tolerance, so I’ll let this slide, but don’t make a habit out of skipping out on class.”

“I would never, Mr. Worth.” Bram said, putting on his nice, polite (read: white) voice. “I was just having a conversation with my good friend, Garrett.”

“Right, right.” He nodded, trying his best to be cool. “Well, head off to class then.”

The two boys smiled politely at their vice principal and turned to head for their history classroom. But Bram was suddenly stopped by Mr. Worth placing an arm in front of him.

“Bram… you’re not… _moved on_ from Simon already are you?” He whispered, clearly trying to sound professional even though he was asking something completely out of line. He gestured towards the rainbow flag pin he had on his lapel pretty much every day since last year. “You can trust me, buddy.”

“Um, no, Garrett is _really_ just my friend.”

“Riiight. It’s cool if you’re in one of those polygamous relationships too, you know. All orientations are tolerated here at Creekwood.”

Bram smiled tightly, “Of course, I mean, we’re not but, yes it would be _cool_ if we were.” He looked over to Garrett who had noticed that Bram wasn’t by his side and stopped a couple feet away, looking bemused. “Can I get to class now?”

“Yes! Get to class, young man! Before I give you detention!” He fake scolded, before giving Bram was he probably thought was a subtle wink.

“What was that about?” Garrett asked, barely holding back a fit of giggles.

“We’re _not_ talking about it.”

* * *

“Hey…” Simon said delicately as he pulled away from the hickey he was sucking carefully onto Bram’s collarbone, where it won’t be visible unless he wanted it to be. “Is something, like, wrong? You seem kind of out of it.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just thinking about Garrett.”

“Wow. Okay.” Simon replied, sitting up and scooting away from where Bram was laying.

Bram rolled his eyes, “Hey, come on. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Excuse me for reaching an obvious conclusion when my boyfriend brings up his much hotter best friend while we’re supposed to be making out!” Simon exclaimed, sounding only partially like he was joking.

“Garrett is _not_ hotter than you.” Bram insisted simply.

“Now that’s just a lie.”

“It isn’t!” Bram said, sitting up and grabbing his boyfriend’s waist to pull him back down so Simon was laying on top of him, his back pressed against Bram’s chest. He spoke quietly next to Simon’s ear. “I’m not into guys like him. I like skinny boys, who like Oreos, and wear glasses, and have stupid Harry Potter opinions.”

“I mean, _everyone_ likes Oreos…”

“Shut up, Si!” Bram interrupted with a laugh, nuzzling his nose into the back of Simon’s neck. “You know you’re the only man for me.”

Simon hummed in defeat. They laid still for a moment, basking in the closeness. “Garrett tried to tell me something today.”

“Okay…” Simon replied, rolling off of Bram so he could lay next to him and look at him while he talked. “What was it?”

“I don’t know?” Bram furrowed his eyebrows. “He like got all sentimental and told me he loved me and then hugged me for like a solid minute, no exaggeration. We were late for history.”

Simon pursed his lips, not liking where this seemed to be going. “I mean, I don’t want to sound like an asshole but... it sounds like he was hitting on my boyfriend.”

“Simon, please.” Bram scoffed, “Garrett would never be into me.” The sentence hung in silence for a moment. “Right?” He asked, looking positively terrified.

“Yeah, I mean, you two are like brothers, right?” Simon asked, forgetting about his own jealousy to focus on making his boyfriend feel better. “I mean ever since Nick started playing soccer I pretty much thought of you two as a package deal. Cute Silent Bram and Semi-Douche Garrett.”

“You know I was only that quiet around you.” Bram teased, bringing a hand up to rest on Simon’s side, gently feeling the fabric of his boyfriend’s shirt. He loved hearing about what Simon thought of him before they met, _and_ he loved hearing that people knew he and Garrett were best friends. “But yeah, we always have been like brothers. Yet at the same time, we barely ever really get like… serious like that. I guess because boys aren’t supposed to express their emotions. So, I’m a jerk for getting so weirded out by him trying to tell me something personal, right?”

“No, that’s not fair, Bram.” Simon shook his head. “It’s hard to unlearn all the toxic masculinity that’s been forced on us. We’re all still trying, you can’t expect to be perfect.”

Bram was a little dissatisfied with that answer. He didn’t like not being perfect at things. That was always the root of his issues with social situations, because he couldn’t exactly _study_ the perfect way to handle things. But he’s never felt incapable when it came to his relationship with Garrett. It was a new problem that he really wasn’t enjoying figuring out, even though he usually loved a challenge.

“Hey,” Simon called softly, bringing Bram back down to Earth. His hand fell on top of Bram’s, which was now furiously fussing with a loose string on Simon’s shirt. “Why don’t you talk to him tomorrow? You have soccer practice in the morning, right?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Bram sighed. He never realized how important Saturdays could be until he got a boyfriend. Now instead of just working himself to death so he could sit in bed to do homework, he had to limit himself so he didn’t have crippling leg pain when Simon wanted to go out and do something.

“Tell him you want to talk.” Simon said, as if it was that simple.

He tried to push Bram’s hand away from where it was still tangled with that thread hanging off his shirt so he could reposition but Bram protested. “Wait, you have to let me pull it off.”

“Oh my god.” Simon said, acting far more exasperated than he actually was as Bram twisted the string tightly around his finger and pulled. Once it was successfully detached, he unraveled the thread and let it fall to Simon’s floor. “You good now?”

Bram nodded solemnly, the small victory had done a little to assuage his anxiety, but it was better than nothing.

“Do you want to practice talking to Garrett on me?” Simon asked patiently.

“I love you.” Bram said in return, rolling closer to Simon and capturing his lips in a kiss despite their awkward angle. Just over a year of kind of being together and it felt like Simon understood him more than anyone else ever would.

“You probably shouldn’t say or do that to Garrett.”

“Good plan.”

* * *

It had taken a lot of internal struggle, but ultimately Bram decided not to warn Garrett that they were going to talk after practice. He felt like the guilt of throwing Garrett off his game for all of practice would be worse than the guilt of randomly springing a serious conversation on him. At least they had plenty of time for Garrett to collect his thoughts. They weren’t in any rush after practice. But just because he avoided ruining Garrett’s game, doesn’t mean Bram wasn’t thrown off his own.

“What was up with you today?” Garrett asked after downing half his water bottle. If it was summer practice, he would have doused himself completely the water.

The rest of the guys retired to the locker rooms, luckily Nick was always eager to leave every Saturday morning practice and didn’t question why Bram and Garrett stayed back. Bram procrastinated answering his friend’s question to keep him outside long enough for their teammates to be out of earshot.

“Well?” Garrett asked, looking at Bram, confused by his silence. Bram just took a seat on the grass, motioning for Garrett to do the same.

He did, albeit bemused by Bram’s actions. Garrett lived by a philosophy that usually Bram knew what he was doing.

“Can we talk about what you were saying yesterday?”

“Ehh… I’d rather not?” Garrett tried, picking a piece of grass out of the ground to avoid eye contact.

“Too bad, it’s for your own good. Take your time to gather your thoughts, I’ll wait.” Bram said, laying back onto the scratchy grass, his hands under his head. He could feel some blades poking through the sleeves of his spandex undershirt he wore under his jersey during the cold weather. But he couldn’t readjust because he needed to appear calm and patient so Garrett wouldn’t freak out.

As he waited, Bram heard the sounds of some of the other guys exiting the locker room and getting in their cars to leave. He’s glad Nick was too focused on leaving to either go back to bed or go see his girlfriend than finding out why Garrett and Bram were still on the field.

“I’m, uh… I, I think…” Bram slowly sat up as Garrett finally began to talk, but couldn’t seem to find the words he wanted to say. “I think maybe, I’m not… straight.”

“Oh.” Bram said, somehow both shocked and not shocked by the admission. “Well, obviously that’s fine, dude.”

“I know it’s _fine_.” Garrett snapped. “Like, it’s not like I have to worry about losing my friends or anything. It’s kind of stupid for me to even be so fucking scared about it.”

“You have every right to be scared.” Bram insisted, not really understanding what Garrett’s thought process was. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“I just feel like it’s not fair, you know? Because I know you and Spier went through hell worrying that you wouldn’t be accepted and I don’t even have to worry about that. But I _am_ , saying it out loud feels so... final.”

“You’re allowed to be as vague as you want while you’re questioning, man.” Bram explained, placing a hand on Garrett’s back. “You shouldn’t have to go through this alone just because we did.”

“I’m just… I’m such a fucking _coward_ , Bram.” Garrett said, his voice sounded so... broken as he pressed a hand to his face. It made Bram’s chest ache.

“Hey, no you’re not.” Bram said, kind of saying the only thing he _could_ say in this situation. He felt a little out of his element, since the last time he saw Garrett cry was when he asked Bram to come with him to his grandfather’s funeral just so he’d have someone his age there to keep him grounded.

“I _am_ though.” Garrett sighed, looking up at Bram again with bloodshot eyes. He looked even more tired than he did after their hardcore soccer drills they ran during the summer. “That day when Spier first came to school after being outed, you weren’t there to see those two douchebags making fun of him and Ethan. I wanted to get up so badly and say something, _anything_ to them. Or even go sit with Simon when he sat all alone at lunch because his friends were kind of being assholes to him. But the thought of people thinking that _I_ was… you know… it was so _scary_. And it kind of made me realize that, maybe I’m not as confident as I thought in my sexuality, you know? Why would I be so scared if I was totally straight?”

Bram truly did not expect for this conversation to end up going this way. He’d honestly been so tuned into the mindset that Garrett was straight since Bram came out to him last year and Garrett didn’t make any attempt to do the same. Was Bram an asshole for thinking that? How could he, as a queer person, just assume someone else was straight?

“Hey, you’re not as much as a coward as me, dude. I couldn’t even bear to come to school that day and face Simon, knowing that he’d be looking desperately for Blue to help him not feel so alone.” Self deprecation was the only thing Bram could think of to make Garrett feel even a little bit better. He thought for a moment. “Maybe, you know… maybe being cowardly isn’t the worst thing in the world, sometimes. Like, it’s just our survival instinct trying to keep us from getting hurt. That’s, it’s understandable, right?”

“There he is, Smart Boy Bram.” Garrett replied, wiping the tears from his face and the snot from his nose all on the sleeve of his soccer jacket. Bram cringed at the sight, which only made Garrett laugh slightly, punching Bram’s arm. “Even in my moment of weakness, you’re gonna judge me?”

“I didn’t say anything!” Bram accepted the punch, glad that things could get back to being lighthearted. “Hey, I love you too, man.” He said, sincerely. “I want you to be happy, too. It’s not something that’s unobtainable, you know? You just have to let go of your inhibitions and just… do whatever the fuck you want.”

“That’s some sage advice, Abraham.” Garrett teased, “I used to think I _always_ just did whatever I wanted, but recently I feel like I’m constantly holding back just a little bit. Not entirely, but there’s something I’ve been ignoring because I don’t want to deal with it. And as small as it is, it’s still keeping me from being completely happy.”

“You can take as much time as you need. I’ll be here for you, and Simon if you’re cool with him knowing. And you know, Leah came out as bi a couple months ago so you could always talk to her, if her situation is a little closer to yours. I promise she’s not as scary as she seems.”

“You can tell Simon.” Garrett nodded, “I trust him if you trust him. I’m not sure about the rest of them though. I haven’t really felt that cool with them since that whole thing last year.” He said with a grimace. “Like I get that they were mad, but how could they leave Simon completely alone when he needed them most?”

“You mean, like I did?” Bram said, grabbing a particularly large blade of grass and shredding it in half meticulously. Bram didn’t think he’d ever stop beating himself over that, even though Simon so expressly forgave him.

“You were different, though.” Garrett insisted.

Bram shrugged, “Not really.”

“No like, you were terrified of being outed too. And everything Simon’s friends were mad about was just stuff he would have never done if he wasn’t also terrified of being outed! Like, couldn’t they see that?” He was clearly frustrated. “Even I didn’t really get it at the time, I guess…”

But Bram didn’t have to block Simon from emailing him, he could have still been there for him in private, is what Bram doesn’t say. Instead, he changes the topic, “There’s no point in you holding a grudge for Simon,” Though, Bram did appreciate that Garrett cared enough about his boyfriend to feel this way. “they’ve resolved all of that.”

“Even if… I still feel like they haven't proved themselves enough to me to trust them with my secrets.”

“That’s fine, Simon and I would be happy to help!” Bram said, turning the conversation back to positive. “You could talk to him alone, if you wanted. I mean, well, maybe not right now, like today. He’s in a bit of a _mood_.”

“Why?” Garrett asked, curiosity piqued by Bram’s sarcastic yet fond tone.

“He’s got it in his head that you have a crush on me.” Bram explained, fully under the impression at it was complete bullshit. But as the words came out of his mouth, Bram became suddenly terrified that it wasn’t. “You don’t, uhh, like me… do you?” He asked as carefully as he could, feeling both like he definitely knew the answer and he definitely didn’t.

“No!” Garrett replied quickly, “No, no, no.”

“Because like, you did hug me for a long time and told me you loved me out of nowhere.” Bram teased, not even mad about the four “no”s. He was just relieved to keep his friendship with Garrett exactly what it was, it was one of the few constants in Bram’s life that kept him grounded.

Garrett scoffed indignantly, “Can’t a guy tell his friend he loves him without having a crush on him? You’re adhering to a pretty sexist ideology Bram and I won’t stand for it.”

“Well, Simon will be glad to hear about this.“ Bram’s fingers itches to grab his phone to text his boyfriend immediately, but ultimately decided that was not the best decision at that time. Especially since his phone was in his bag in the locker room.

Instead, Bram decided to pry a little. “So, what? Do you have a crush on somebody else?” In his experience, sexual awakenings usually come accompanying a crush.

“Honestly, not really.” Garrett sneered. “At least, not any guys. Most of the dudes at Creekwood aren’t exactly the most attractive bachelors to choose from.” He almost shuddered at the thought of trying to find a boyfriend in their high school who wasn’t his friend, a douchebag, or gross. “No, I kind of… well honestly, I think it was seeing you and Simon together that made me realize…”

Bram had to bite his lip to keep from grinning too widely at what his friend was saying.

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you and Spier are the world’s happiest couple and everyone should aspire to be like you.” Garrett rolled his eyes, dropping his use of Simon’s first name again. It’s not that Bram necessarily hated it, but it reminded him that his best friend actually wasn’t that familiar with his boyfriend. Maybe it was time to change that.

“No, but seriously.” Garrett continued. “Like one day Nick was like, “Oh, not to sound offensive or anything,”” Bram snorted at Garrett’s impression of Nick. “”but whenever I see Simon and Bram, I can’t imagine ever being that happy with a dude.” And I was thinking like, he was just trying to desperately prove his heterosexuality or something. Because I could see myself being that happy with a dude if he was as good for me as you and Simon are for each other, of course I’d want that! But then I realized that’s… kind of gay?”

Bram let out a loud laugh.

“Seriously, man! I was like oh shit, maybe Nick wasn’t just being a dick, well he _was_ , but also maybe he’s just straight and I’m just… not.”

“Hey, how about you hang out with Simon and I tomorrow?” Bram suggested. “We’re gonna check out that new pizza place that just opened in town.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to infringe on your date?”

“It’s not a date!” Bram said, even though it definitely was a date. They agreed to always try to keep Sundays clear for each other. But Simon could deal with losing one day, especially to help their friend. He’d been so excited when Leah came out and once he knew about Garrett, he was going to be determined to somehow make all their friends queer. Abby, he supposed was doable, but he didn’t think anyone could get straighter than Nick Eisner.

Garrett looked like he definitely didn’t believe Bram, but nodded anyway, “Cool, text me the time and place and I’ll meet y’all there.”

They both let out obnoxious groans when they stood up to walk to the now deserted locker room.

“So, do you want me to tell Si beforehand or do you want to tell him?” Maybe it wasn’t as serious as the way Simon was outed, but Bram still wasn’t about to stop his friend from coming out on his own terms.

Garrett groaned, waving his hand, “You can tell him, I don’t feel like dealing with the awkwardness of saying it again.” He shook his head as he unlocked his locker. “Honestly, I don’t know how gay people deal with having to come out all the time. I had no idea how easy it was being straight.”

Bram snorted, this was almost as fun as when Garrett realized his white privilege.

* * *

“You’re way too excited to have someone crash our date.” Bram deadpanned as Simon looked over his shoulder at the door for what must have been the tenth time since they sat down.

“Come on, aren’t you excited that all our friends are turning gay?” Simon grinned, “Who do you think is next? I’d put my money on Abby.”

“You should because Nick will never not be straight.” Bram said with absolute certainty.

Simon’s smile fell, sighing, “Don't remind me.” Then he shrugged, “I guess we do need a token heterosexual.”

Garrett finally arrived just as their pizza was being placed on their table.

“Aw, did you get half Hawaiian just for me?” He asked excitedly as he pulled out a chair to sit on the pineapple covered side of the giant pizza.

Simon scoffed, “As if, it’s all for me.”

Garrett looked positively moved, “Spier, I never knew you were a fan of the superior pizza topping.”

“Yeah, you two enjoy your gross pizza and I’ll have my delicious, boring cheese all to myself.” Bram said, secretly fond of seeing his two favorite people bonding already.

“The only reason I’m not mad at you for joining us on our date is because I could justify going half Hawaiian.” Simon explained, grabbing a piece of pineapple off his slice. Garrett was staring at Simon like he was an angel.

Bram rolled his eyes, “Alright Garrett calm down, or I might start to think the one you have a crush on is Simon, not me.” He grinned mischievously as Simon turned to his boyfriend, looking betrayed.

“You said you wouldn’t tell him!”

Bram shrugged as Simon lightly pushed his shoulder, turning to explain himself to Garrett.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Simon.” Garrett assured before he could say anything. “Bram physically can’t talk to boys he likes. That’s why it took him so long to say anything to you. He definitely had no trouble talking to _me_ about your “moon gray eyes” and “adorable sentence fractals”.”

Simon looked delighted as Garrett fake swooned to prove his point.

“First of all, it was sentence fragments, you traitor.” Bram corrected, “Sentence fractals aren’t a thing, they're two entirely different concepts.” He didn’t realize how dangerous Garrett and Simon being closer could be, specifically for Bram’s embarrassment levels. “Aren’t we supposed to be talking about you?”

“Bram, don’t rush him!” Simon insisted, placing his hand on Garrett’s arm. “You take as much time as you need. And tell me more about Bram’s crush on me.”

“I mean, I knew before he even came out to me.” Garrett said through a mouthful of pizza. “Even in middle school he was always weirdly interested in you.”

“Middle school?” Simon repeated, looking back at his boyfriend in disbelief.

“Wow, I’m going to the bathroom.” Bram said, quickly getting out of his chair and heading to the back corner of the restaurant. Despite being the focal point of the teasing, Bram couldn’t help but smile as he washed the pizza grease off his hands.

He was finally really understanding what Garrett was talking about on Friday. Seeing his best friend so happy and carefree, it kind of made Bram realize just how much he hadn’t realized that Garrett hadn’t been himself lately. Here he was, all wrapped up in the perpetual honeymoon stage he and Simon could never seem to break out of, while his best friend was struggling. He’s glad Garrett didn’t have to wait as long as he had to come out to his friends. That Garrett would have a support system helping him along the way, instead of just him isolating himself and dealing with it alone. It wasn’t fair that so many queer kids had to do it that way.

When he got back to the table, Simon was talking about Harry Potter.

“Si, I’ve know Garrett for seven years, he will never read the books.” Bram interrupted as he sat back down.

Simon pouted but Garrett just nodded solemnly at Bram’s declaration.

“Fine.” Simon sighed, “But anyway, it may seem weird but Harry Potter was actually pretty crucial to me figuring out my sexuality.”

Bram smirked, thinking about his boyfriend’s tragic and confusing Daniel Radcliffe phase.

“ _Besides_ my enlightening crush on DanRad.” Simon said pointedly, “It got me into Tumblr, where I learned all sorts of stuff about sexuality and gender identity.” Garrett looked a bit scared at the mention of Tumblr.

“I know it seems intimidating but it’s actually really informative!” Simon reassured him. “Like society only teaches us that straight is the default. If you’re lucky, you get to learn about being gay by the time you’re a teenager. But no one ever wants to teach kids that you can like both! Or no one at all!”

Bram nodded, “When I was figuring out myself, I went about it the only way I knew how, with formal research.”

Garrett grinned, “Smart Boy Bram.”

“There’s this scientist named Alfred Kinsey, who had this idea that sexuality exists on a spectrum, or a scale.” Bram continued, slowly slipping into lecture mode. “So the very simplified version of that is a scale of 0 to 6. 0 being completely heterosexual with no interest in the same sex, 3 being completely equal interest, and 6 being completely homosexual.”

“But there’s always other things to take into account,” Simon added, “Like some people are on the asexuality spectrum. Like some don’t experience any sexual attraction, some only experience it if they feel really close with their partner.”

Garrett seemed a little overwhelmed by the information dump. He chewed thoughtfully on the hard crust of his pizza slice.

“I definitely don’t think I’m asexual.” He said after a while. “I’d probably fall in the middle of that scale thing. I just would get so confused like, whenever I would attempt to Google stuff about liking both, it always talks about pansexality and bisexuality, but what’s the difference even?”

Simon shrugged, “Not much really, it’s just a matter of what you’re more comfortable labeling yourself with. Because by definition, bisexual people are attracted to both sexes, and pansexual people are attracted to people despite sex or gender. But that makes it sound like a bisexual person wouldn’t date a trans or nonbinary person, and sure some of them wouldn’t but not all of them.”

“Honestly, your sexuality exists for you to feel comfortable explaining yourself, so don’t worry about what anyone else says.” Bram mentioned, trying to break away from all the Wikipedia article reciting he and Simon were doing.

“Ah, the old Greenfeld proverb,” Garrett grinned, “”Do whatever the fuck you want.””

They somehow ended up loitering at the pizza place long enough to get told to order something else or get out. So, reluctantly, they paid their bill and gathered their things. As they stepped outside, the cold autumn wind hit Bram hard in the face. He grabbed Simon’s shoulder and pulled him in close, snuggling his nose into the fuzzy collar of his denim jacket.

“Thanks you guys,” Garrett said sincerely. “Honestly like, for the past couple months I’ve just been so scared of even thinking about all this. But knowing I don’t need to go through it alone, it makes me want to not hold anything back anymore.”

“My mom told me when I came out that I looked like I had been holding my breath for years, but now I finally get to exhale and be myself. And that still gives me chills to this day.” Simon loved telling people that story, honestly Bram loved it too. Her words were so impactful. Simon had wanted to write them on his wall but he didn’t want to give his mom the satisfaction of seeing her quoted among his stupid song lyrics. “She’s like a therapist though, so she’s pretty good at coming up with insightful quotes.”

Garrett stared thoughtfully at the setting sun, “I think I’m pretty excited to finally exhale.”

* * *

The last thing Bram expected to see when he walked into the cafeteria on Monday was Simon and Garrett sitting close together and talking animatedly about something. The sight caused his heart to swell, an involuntary grin sneaking across his face and straining his cheeks.

As he got closer, he caught some of what Simon was saying. “—that freshman who apparently came out in middle school.”

“Wouldn’t it be kind of creepy for me to mess around with a freshman?” Garrett cringed. “I’m like, gonna be 18 soon.”

Bram chuckled as he took a seat next to Simon. Usually he’d be in between Simon and Garrett, but he wasn’t about to stop them from this crucial bonding moment. “What are you two talking about?”

“I’m trying to find someone for Garrett to have a homosexual experience with.” Simon explained, as if it was strictly business and not just him being super nosy and meddling into Garrett’s potential future love life. “Oh! You know who’s bi? Cal Price!” Simon exclaimed, immediately glancing over to where he knew Cal was sitting with the other theater kids.

Garrett followed his gaze, he knew vaguely about Cal only from Bram’s angst so he’d always thought so negatively about him. “He _is_ very pretty.”

“God, I know. Those eyes?” Simon gushed.

Bram needed to put an end to that quickly. “Alright.” He said bluntly.

Simon pouted, “Of course, not as pretty as my gorgeous, perfect boyfriend.”

Bram knew it was silly of him to still be jealous of Cal, but the fact that Simon had been picturing him as Blue for weeks and Bram couldn’t be more different than him still struck a nerve sometimes. But he knew that Simon rejected Cal once he found out he wasn’t Blue because that’s all that really mattered to him. At the end of the day, his words and personality were better than Cal’s swoopy bangs and bright eyes.

Bram let his jealousy melt away as Simon wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him impossibly closer. “You should talk to Cal, Garrett. He’s into superheroes isn’t he, Si?”

“Oh?” Garrett asked, his interest piqued.

Simon nodded, talking about the drawings he’s seen Cal doing. “And he’s really nice and funny.”

“Who’s really nice and funny?” Nick asked as he finally arrived at the table with his tray full of food. Abby and Leah came in quickly behind him.

“Cal Price.” Simon said, not elaborating any further.

“Aw, he’s so cute!” Abby immediately swooned.

“Yeah?” Garrett asked, glancing at Simon and Bram for a moment before looking back at the other three. “Do you think I should ask him out?”

Garrett always did like to dive headfirst into things impulsively, so Bram can’t say he’s surprised. He did his best not to beam with pride, trying not to ruin his friend’s attempt at casually coming out. Which, of course, was an impossible feat.

Abby was giddy, “Yes, yes! You absolutely should, Garrett!”

Leah looked pensive, but still mustered up a smile.

Nick was just confused, “Wait, have you been gay too, this whole time?”

“I don’t really know man,” Garrett shrugged, but he no longer seemed torn up about it the way he was on Saturday. “I like girls and I think I could like guys too. I’m still figuring shit out.”

“Cal was complaining the other day that he hasn’t gotten to see the new Spider-Man yet.” Leah suddenly mentioned, saving Garrett from having to continue explaining himself. “Apparently all his friends have given up on Marvel and he refuses to go to the movies alone. So, maybe you could take him to see it?”

Garrett spared another glance at Cal, who seemed to feel the weight of six pairs of eyes on his back and turned around to meet Garrett’s gaze. Confidently, Garrett winked and Cal just turned around slowly, clearly confused and a bit flustered.

“Wow, smooth operator over here, huh?” Bram teased.

“Did you _wink_ at him?” Abby asked incredulously, she couldn’t clearly see what had happened.

Garrett frowned, “Fuck yeah, I did. Now he knows I’m interested.” He explained as if it was obvious. “Y’all clearly don’t understand how flirting works.”

“I guess being gay doesn’t really stop you from being kind of a douche.” Nick jokes, still clearly slightly uncomfortable.

Abby chuckles lightly while the rest of them just kind of cringe and wait to see how Garrett responds.

“Whatever Eisner, you’ll see when I get a date with Cal this weekend after being gay for one day and you took over half a year to get the girl you liked to date you.”

The table erupts into jeers and laughter as Nick flushes a deep red and Abby rubs his arm comfortingly. Bram reaches around Simon to pat Garrett on the back, grinning proudly at his friend. It was nice to see Garrett back to normal, just unapologetically himself, even if “himself” was a bit different now. It was also nice to see Simon copying his proud grin at Garrett as well.

“Can you two stop looking at me like my supportive parents?” Garrett asked, but his tone suggested he secretly loved it.

Simon gasped in mock offense, “But we love you Gare Bear!” He exclaimed, before grabbing the side of Garrett’s face and pressing a messy kiss to his cheek. Bram used his hand that was still on Garrett’s back to ruffle his hair fondly.

After some laughter, Abby started talking about something that happened in her Chemistry class earlier, and just like that, everything was back to normal. Save for a few weird looks from Nick, Garrett had a pretty uneventful coming out. Bram thought he should be jealous, but instead he was just really happy for his friend, and really proud of his other friends. Obviously not every time would be like this, because coming out sucks, but Bram was glad his best friend got at least one good one to boost his confidence and dig him out of his rut. He was also glad to see Garrett sneaking more glances at Cal every time he thought no one was paying attention to him, even stopping by Cal’s table on his way to throw out his food.

“Hey,” Simon said in his low voice he used when he wanted to talk to just Bram when they were in a group of people.

Bram smiled at the boy he loved, “Hey.” He said quietly back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically Bram has an aesthetically pleasing studyblr and Simon has the most garish looking, disorganized fandom blog. He only uses the tags to keysmash. Simon is essentially the embarrassing SuperWhoLock type that would make Tumblr posts like “You Messed With The Wrong Fandom Bucko!” and he can’t believe he’s dating the dreaded basic hipster blogger. Bram has to unfortunately admit to Simon that he hates the Harry Potter movies, because he’s definitely a book snob and the movies are way too different. Bram also cares more about the Harry Potter universe than the characters themselves (Listen Harry is… kind of annoying…) and the only characters he ever felt endeared to were The Marauders (Remus and Sirius are the closest to a canon gay ship than any other HP ship). This fic was honestly me projecting my unpopular HP opinions on Bram because I think he would overthink things like I do and because I think it would be cute if they fought over a lot of small things but still loved each other. Also fuck JK Rowling’s transphobic ass but Simon loves Harry Potter and I love fandom Simon.


	2. Bonus Garrett/Cal Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit.
> 
> What the fuck?
> 
> Garrett felt his all consuming wave of dissonance crash over him. Because he never even considered this situation objectively. Here he was, this big jock, just randomly deciding to start flirting with some theater kid?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I liked where I ended the fic, I started thinking about trying to find a way to give Garrett a boyfriend without making an OC and it hit me, Cal Price. Garrett wouldn't have considered him because he's only ever really thought about him in context of Bram being upset that Simon thought Cal was Blue. Then I literally reread the book in one night just to take notes on the tiniest bits of characterization we got out of Cal in order to write him. Then, of course, I started overthinking and this became a Garrett Realizes His Privilege fic. 
> 
> I wanted to create this relationship where Garrett is like semi-woke and Bram doesn't hesitate to check his privilege, but sometimes it seems like Bram is just an asshole. It's all consensual, don't worry. Bram, Garrett, and Cal all aren't perfect in their own ways and that's fine because they're high schoolers and they're still learning and evolving.

“Hey, Cal, right?” Garrett asked smoothly as he casually leaned his hip against the side of the theater kids’ lunch table. They all had mixed reactions to him being there, but he ignored them.

“Um, yeah…” Cal replied his voice soft. “You’re Simon’s boyfriend’s soccer friend, right?”

His voice was adorable, and his eyes were gorgeous. Garrett was adapting pretty well to this gay thing, he could totally see himself with a guy like Cal. First he just had to get himself out of the friend of a friend of a friendzone.

“Garrett.” He offered, then when Cal didn’t say anything in response, he just pushed forward. “I just wanted to say great job on the play last year.” Garrett said, as if it wasn’t a totally weird, outdated, random compliment. “Bram made me go see it like three times, but I liked it every time! I know you worked really hard on it backstage.”

“Oh… thanks?” Cal responded, he looked at his friends so they could confirm this was really happening and not just some weird fever dream. They shrugged. “No one ever really thinks about the crew, outside of the mandatory thanks at the end of the show.”

“Well, I know if you’re working on it, then this year’s play will be just as good!” Garrett smiled, tapping his fingers lightly on the table in front of Cal’s hands. When he opened his mouth to say something else, the bell rang.

Cal got up as quickly as possible, having already thrown out his lunch and put on his bag in preparation for the bell. “Well, I have to get to class. Bye.”

That wasn’t ideal, but Garrett could work with it. I mean, they still had to get to know each other. Sulkily, he made his way back over to Bram who was waiting for him so they could walk to history together.

“How’d it go, champ?” Bram teased, though he was legitimately curious.

Garrett appreciated the teasing, like this was just like any other crush Garrett has ever had. And that’s how he was going to treat it. There was no reason this needed to be different.

So he started flirting with Cal, just like he would have any other time he had a crush on a girl. Though, those other times Garrett didn’t have to work nearly as hard. He’d always been the cute jock archetype, even if girls liked football players more than soccer players for whatever stupid reason, so it had always been pretty easy for him to get girlfriends. Though he hadn’t really had a serious one ever. The girl he dated for the longest had been from sophomore year to junior year, and they broke up because she moved. It had been pretty sad but also, it’s not like they had this big emotional connection. It was high school, they hung out at the movies, got pizza, and made out. With those girls, all Garrett had to do was mention to someone that he was into them, _maybe_ flirt a bit at most. But with Cal, it was like he didn’t seem to be getting the message.

Garrett talked to him whenever he could, usually trying not to do it around too many people. He knew Cal was kind of casually out, but he probably didn’t want it announced to the school like Simon had. It wasn’t like Cal didn’t like the flirting, he was talking back, they were having conversations. Cal was a bit shy but Garrett didn’t get the vibe that he was forcing himself on the guy or anything, but he also didn’t get the vibe that he should necessarily ask him out just yet.

It was about a week later when Garrett decided to take the plunge. He approached Cal at his locker just before play practice, watching as he exchanged a bunch of textbooks for a blue binder. The hall was mostly deserted as everyone had gone home or was already doing their extracurriculars.

“Hey, Cal! So--” Garrett’s greeting was cut off by Cal slamming his locker shut. Garrett was a bit taken aback by the noise, he’d never heard Cal produce such a loud sound.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re making fun of me or,” Cal shook his head, he started out so confidently and as his sentence continued he got quieter and quieter. He broke eye contact with the taller boy, looking down at his shoes instead. “I don’t know like, I only really told my friends that I was bi so I don’t even know how you found out or even you even actually know or you just suspect it. But I’m pretty sure Bram wouldn’t like that you’re doing this a-and I will tell Simon if you don’t stop.”

Holy shit.

What the fuck?

Garrett felt his all consuming wave of dissonance crash over him. Because he never even considered this situation objectively. Here he was, this big jock, just randomly deciding to start flirting with some theater kid? Suddenly, he felt like he finally understood why coming out was a thing. Why would Cal ever think he was anything but a straight jock teasing him the way so many of them still teased Simon and Bram to this day?

He took a step back, now hyper-aware of how close he was to Cal. He was practically looming over the kid. And before there had always been other people around, but now they were completely alone. Cal must have thought he was finally here to beat him up or something. Jesus Christ, was Garrett… scary?

“I-I’m sorry. I won’t bother you anymore.” Garrett said, trying to keep his voice steady as panic swept through his body. He felt like he didn’t even know who he was anymore, like he was diving right back into an identity crisis when he had just resurfaced from one. Cal finally looked up from his shoes to give a confused look just as Garrett turned and speed-walked out of the school and to his car.

He didn’t know how he could be so fucking clueless sometimes. He groaned loudly as he laid his head on his steering wheel, trying to gather this thoughts. “Fucking idiot…” He berated himself under his breath as he aggressively started his car.

* * *

When Bram’s personalized ringtone started playing on Garrett’s phone later, he almost didn’t want to crawl out of his shame fort he’d made on his bed. But he was never one to ignore his friends, so he reluctantly threw his blanket off himself and grabbed his phone out of the pocket of his jeans that he’d taken off as soon as he got home.

“Hey,” Garrett sighed dejectedly.

“Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Cal today?” Bram asked, always getting right to business. “So I don’t have only Cal’s perspective? Which, by the way, I only have via Simon so who knows how accurate it is.”

“Am I scary?” Garrett asked, instead of telling the story he knew Bram wanted to hear.

Bram snorted, “No, you’re a giant soft dork.”

“See that’s what I thought! But I went to talk to Cal alone today and he seemed downright _afraid_ of me, Bram!” Garrett groaned, leaning back on his bed. “Is that what everyone in school thinks of me? That I’m some douchebag jock who makes fun of gay kids? I’m best friends with you, don’t people know that? Why does everyone just assume I’m like the rest of those assholes?”

What Garrett didn’t expect was his best friend _chuckling_ on the other line. “Look who finally knows what it’s like to experience prejudice.” Bram said, his voice dripping with faux sympathy. “You must have it so hard.”

“This fucking sucks, Bram! How do you just _deal_ with feeling like this all the time?” Garrett kind of felt like an idiot even talking about it to someone like Bram, who has been marginalized his whole life. “Like, Cal doesn’t fucking know me, why did he assume the worst? I just wanted to fucking take him to see a movie and kiss him in his car or something! Why do I need to go through this whole process just to get to that point?”

“Garrett, I love you man, but you sound like the most entitled cishet white man.”

“Ugh! I know!” Garrett rubbed his hand over his eyes. He’s had this discussion with Bram many times, and he always encouraged Bram to call him out when he was being exceptionally annoying. “Can you just tell me what Cal said to Simon?”

“Apparently, he came to Simon after play practice and asked what was up with his, quote unquote, “Boyfriend’s soccer friend”, and why was he acting so weird around him. To which Simon so smoothly replied, “Maybe he likes you.” and Cal apparently rolled his eyes at that.” Garrett groaned once more, but Bram just continued with the story. “So then Simon spilled the beans and told Cal that he told you he was bi and that you were questioning and thought you might like him, and then Simon claims Cal made a weird face before cryptically thanking him and walking away.”

“A weird face?!” Garrett exclaimed, “What’s that supposed to mean, Simon?!”

“Yeah, well, you know Si.” Bram said, somehow sounding exasperated but also as fond as he could possibly be. It made Garrett smile even through his selfish angst at the moment. “Look, it's not the end of the world. Just, maybe leave Cal alone for a bit. You know, you don’t have to rush into this whole thing just because you think you might like dudes.”

Garrett sighed, he didn’t really know how _not_ to rush into things. Anytime he decided to try something, he just closed his eyes and jumped right off the cliff with no hesitation. That’s what made him and Bram such a good duo, because his friend was so cautious and careful about everything. They balanced each other out and kept each other grounded.

“Yeah…” Garrett sighed out solemnly, “Maybe I’ll just wait until college to experiment like the rest of the world.”

“Hey, that’s the spirit!” Bram said encouragingly.

“Someone’s gotta be the ho since you’re gonna be with Simon forever until you get married and have a house and kids and a dog.” Garrett teased warmly.

“Shut up.” Bram said immediately, but his smile was so clear in his voice.

* * *

The next day, for the first time in what felt like his whole life, Garrett was nervous going into school. His entire world had just been flipped because apparently he wasn’t being perceived the way he had always thought. Was his unwavering confidence was intimidating? Should he be more quiet? Less friendly? He had no idea how to act. He wanted to just stand in the crowded hall and just start shouting… something. Anything to just explain himself. Even though these people weren’t even looking for an explanation, because they already thought they knew Garrett. They didn’t care about the things they possibly had wrong.

As he made his way to first period, a couple of his friends from the soccer team loudly greeted him, but he just kept his head down. For a brief moment, he made eye contact with Cal standing around one of his theater friend’s lockers, but he looked away as soon as possible.

It was such a confusing experience, because Garrett knew he shouldn’t care what people think of him, but he also really didn’t want people to think he was an _asshole_. He never thought it would be something he’d have to work extra hard to prove.

By the time lunch came, several people had noticed something was up with Garrett. His friends were asking what was wrong, his teammates were making weird jokes, even one of his teachers seemed concerned. All he could do was just keep quiet and poke at the lackluster food on his tray.

“Oh, hey Cal.” Simon said loudly, successfully knocking Garrett out of his haze.

He looked up from his food and locked eyes with Cal, who looked very uncomfortable. That only made Garrett feel worse, so he returned his gaze back to his food.

He could practically hear Cal roll his eyes, along with Bram and Simon right next to him.

“Garrett, come talk to me?” Cal said, somehow making a command sound like a question.

Garrett stood up quickly, wanting to let Cal get this over with as soon as possible so he could return to his normal life.

“You don’t have to do this.” Garrett said quietly as Cal lead him out of the cafeteria and towards the direction of the theater. He didn’t say anything in reply as he fished out a set of keys from his bag and opened the door that lead to some stairs. Curiously, Garrett followed the boy, surprised when he found himself in a small box in the back of the theater, above all the seats and facing the stage. He was surrounded by what must have been the sound and lighting equipment. He’d never even thought about where all that stuff was.

“I can’t take you moving around looking sorry for yourself all day.” Cal finally said as he sat down in one of the two chairs that were available up there. He gestured towards the other one, insisting that Garrett also sit.

“I’m really sorry.” Garrett said immediately, still not sitting down.

Cal nodded, “I’m sorry too, will you please sit down so we can talk?” Something about the way Cal said “down” when he was a little irritated, a hint of a southern accent came out. It wasn’t necessarily unheard of in Georgia, but it was striking coming out of him for some reason.

“Look, I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything. It was wrong of me to take advantage of Simon telling me you were bi and try to force myself on you.” Garrett started rambling as soon as he took a seat. “Like, I thought I could just somehow skip out on all this coming out bullshit and that was really unfair of me. I just didn’t want to deal with it and I wanted to act like this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary and I don’t know why I expected everyone else to just go with it. Probably because that’s usually how things go for me and I’m so entitled I can’t even comprehend what it’s like to be even slightly marginalized.”

“Whoa, Garrett. Calm down, dude.” Cal interrupted, chuckling uncomfortably. “I don’t know about all that. Clearly I was just as in the wrong for assuming the worst about you when you’re not even a bad guy.”

Garrett shook his head, “What have I ever done to prove anything otherwise?”

“Actually, a lot of things.”

Garrett was stunned into silence by the response.

Cal nodded, looking _guilty_ , “All week I was complaining about you, thinking that you were making fun of me, and my friends kept insisting that you seemed nice and you probably actually did like me or something. Like obviously you’ve been super cool with Simon and Bram, they’re like your best friends. And I heard that you also almost punched a dude on the soccer team for trying to say something bad about Bram too. You’ve done nothing but prove yourself different from the rest of those guys, I’m the one that chose to ignore it.” He looked down at his shoes, a pair of converse that had seen better days. “I’m sorry for being paranoid.”

“… I just don’t feel like you should be apologizing for that.” Garrett said, after a thoughtful pause. “Like, humans get scared for a reason, it’s our survival instincts.” Quoting Bram in order to sound smarter was something Garrett had years of experience doing. “You had every right to be wary of some jock you don’t know flirting with you, especially when jocks are normally the ones who dole out the worst bullying towards kids like you.”

“You’re a smart jock though.” Cal teased, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

Garrett laughed, happy to finally be having a positive conversation with Cal, positive on _both sides_. “More like my best friend is a genius and I somehow ended up in AP classes because of his influence.”

“Hey, don’t diminish your own accomplishments. Bram doesn’t take tests for you.”

“God, he might as well.” Garrett snorted. “You know, I never actually have to study myself because Bram will inevitably have a panic attack before every test and force me to help him study to the point where I know the material like the back of my hand. Though, that gauntlet has been passed to Simon now.”

“They’re sweet.” Cal grinned at the mention of the couple. “I thought for the longest time that I could like Simon, until his emails were leaked and I saw how obnoxious his music taste was.”

“God, I _know_.” Garrett had longed for the opportunity to make fun of Simon’s music taste, but his best friends were Simon’s childhood best friend and Simon’s boyfriend. “Bram didn’t actually have a music taste before he met Simon, then all of the sudden I have to listen to indie sad boy shit in the car all the time.”

“Oh, I do not feel bad for you.” Cal said, crossing his arms, “I’d take that indie sad boy shit any day of the week over the _country_ I know you listen to.”

Garrett placed a hand over his heart, wounded. “So, what’s your all superior music taste then?”

Cal rolled his eyes, “My music taste isn’t superior, Simon’s just annoys me because you can tell he _thinks_ his is superior. But I mostly listen to pop punk sad boy shit. And showtunes, obviously.”

They end up talking for a while about music, and then everything else they could think of. It was really nice, because for the longest time Garrett had only hung out with the soccer team and his lunch table group. It was refreshing to get to know another person. High school sometimes felt so confining, like you could never even attempt to break from routine without everyone staring at you weird. He guessed that was what Simon meant when he told him he’d always be coming out, and not even exclusively about his sexuality.

“Oh shit.” Cal said suddenly after a moment of silence. He quickly reached into his back pocket to grab his phone, looking at the time. “I completely forgot you can never hear the bell in here.”

Garrett followed his lead, grabbing his phone out of his jacket pocket. The time showed that it was way past the end of lunch and he had three texts from Bram.

**Bro, are you coming back?**

**The bell is about to ring, you’re gonna be late for history.**

**I hope you’re at least making out with him.**

Garrett chuckled at the series of messages, tapping in his passcode so he could send a reply.

**Actually no but we were having a good enough conversation that we lost track of time so maybe he’ll agree to see the movie with me**

When he looked up from his screen, Cal was clearly peering over trying to read his messages upside down. He didn’t even look ashamed at being caught.

“What movie did you want to see?”

“Oh, I heard you didn’t have anyone to see Spider-Man with, so…”

“Oh my god, _yes_.” Cal agreed immediately. “You have no idea how many people I’ve been _begging_. I just don’t want to go see a movie alone, but all of them are like “Wah, I don’t like action movies.” or “Ugh, I’m just not into the Marvel movies anymore.”. They’re all terrible friends who can’t be trusted.”

“How can you just give up on the Marvel Cinematic Universe when it’s just getting to the climax?” Garrett asked incredulously. He had a countdown on his phone set for the rumored release of Infinity War. “Not to mention, a movie like Black Panther coming out soon?”

“I think this will be a great second date.” Cal smirked, placing his hand on top of Garrett’s.

“Second?” He was liking this less timid side of the other boy, it was nice to talk to Cal when he wasn’t borderline terrified of him.

“Yeah, dude, we just talked for like an hour, that’s a date if I’ve ever heard of one.”

Garrett bit his lip as he grinned, smoothly rolling his chair closer to Cal’s. “Do you usually kiss on the first date, or does it take a couple?” He asked quietly.

Cal scoffed softly, but didn’t back away “You really are a fuckboy, aren’t you?”

“It’s just, you know, I’ve never kissed a boy.” Garrett said, his false air of confidence waning. “And I’m still curious.”

“It’s the same as kissing a girl.” Cal insisted. That made Garrett more nervous, how many boys _and_ girls had Cal kissed before? What did he have to live up to?

“Then why would anyone be just straight or gay?” Garrett wondered genuinely.

“If you ask me, I don’t think anyone is really.” Cal replied with a noncommittal shrug. “But maybe that’s just my bisexual agenda.”

Garrett cringed a little at the word. Maybe he was too sensitive towards the thought of other gender identities to be cool with being bisexual. Maybe it was because Simon had just taught him all about nonbinary and gender fluid people the other day. Pansexual just sounded nicer to him. It basically meant the same thing while still being more inclusive.

“Hey, so are you gonna kiss me or what?” Cal suddenly asked, breaking the silence Garrett had fallen into as he got lost in his own thoughts.

“Oh, yes! If you want.” Garrett replied, sitting up in his seat.

Cal rolled his eyes, which was apparently a thing he did often. “Of course I want.”

“I just wanted to get your enthusiastic consent.”

“It’s just a kiss.”

“Hey, affirmative consent is important.” Garrett insisted. “It’s not good to just assume you can do something to someone, and it takes just seconds to ask.”

“I don’t understand how you’re some weird mix between a douchebag and woke, but it’s really cute. Please kiss me.”

So he did. And it was _good_. Garrett hadn’t really kissed anyone since the New Years party he was at just before Simon was outed. The stress of questioning himself made him not really want to hook up with girls as much. But he missed it, an intimate connection without being very serious the way sex was.

“Aw, fuck yeah, I’m gay as hell.” Garrett said as soon as they broke apart.

“Shut up.” Cal chuckled, before locking their lips again.

They end up skipping their next class too.


End file.
